Mia's definition: bargaining is the investigator mode ('why them, why not me', 'what were their last wishes'). Disputes over wills are unprocessed bargaining, and so are decisions people make only because someone died, like finally marrying a partner of 20 years because a late mother wanted it.
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You can't really outsource your responsibility of your decisions. It's really easy to spot people who don't take responsibility when they say things like, oh, but they would have wanted it. And you say, well yeah, but there is a part of you choosing it too.
- Decisions made for the dead can breed resentment
Acting on a dead person's wishes can be courageous or a way to dodge responsibility. Whether it lasts depends on how aware you are of the part of you that is choosing.
Fighting over someone's will is like trying to figure out the mind of somebody who's no longer with us.