Relationships and lives fall apart, sometimes ending in divorce ten years later, when people forget to ask 'what about me?' Asking what you yourself want is the start of being real.
Where it appears 1
Connections
Related
- Write down what you want
Colin's first step toward authenticity for someone with no support around them. Take pen and paper and write down what you want in life and what would make you happy, even something as…
- Ask 'What's in it for you?'
In interviews Colin told candidates exactly what he was after, then asked what they were after, to judge whether they were too ambitious or not ambitious enough. Asking yourself the same…
More insights from this episode
- Nothing is coming; go get it
Nothing you're waiting for is coming on its own. The right mindset is to go and get what you want, not to expect something you haven't earned.
- The work behind the idea makes it
Everyone has great ideas, and Gates didn't even invent DOS. What separates success from 'I thought of that ten years ago' is the work you put behind the idea.
- Self-improvement hierarchies breed sophisticated fakes
The higher you climb any belief system's checklist hierarchy, the more you need to keep up appearances, so those at the top are often the most out of touch with who they are. It works like…
- Self-help has no performance indicator
Self-help tells you you're getting better while giving you nothing measurable to track. Believing you're improving is not the same as improving, and resolve in the real world, such as sales…
- The rest of the world never heard of your guru
People caught inside a self-help group forget that the whole world outside is succeeding without ever hearing of their technique, book or leader, using the simple things a parent, boss or…
- Authentic complainers are more likeable than optimizers
Tamir would rather have a friend who is authentic and speaks from the heart but isn't on a track to success than someone optimizing every area of life, who may 'recalibrate around you' and…