Grief depends not only on the relationship lost but on your hormones, mindset and habits when the loss lands. The same blow can be survivable at one stage of life and devastating at another.
Where it appears 1
Connections
Themes and ideas
More insights from this episode
- Grief cannot be prescribed
Because grief is as personal as the love it reflects, no one can set a time limit or tell another person where to draw the line. Mia still feels a pull to a mother she barely knew, decades…
- Curiosity both heals and haunts
Investigating a loss can lift you out of depression, but without a clear answer it becomes a Gordian knot that tightens the more you look, a chase after an apparition. Be clear about what…
- Grief is not only about death
We grieve lost friendships, ghostings, divorces, pets and miscarriages (the hopes and dreams planted in a future), not just the dead.
- Control can be grief in disguise
Rigid structure, narrow-mindedness and a need to control everything can be a child's defense against grief that hasn't been dealt with internally.
- Fit with your therapist matters
If you don't connect with your psychologist, that isn't your failing: you share more with them than with a spouse, so they must be someone you trust, not a random name from the Yellow Pages.
- Healing starts with asking about yourself
Real change began when Mia stopped analyzing why others were the problem and asked why she was so angry and needed control.