Mia's first pilot of grief support groups: hosting dinners in her West Point Grey home where people cook, eat and share their innermost pain, because 'we heal in a field of connection' and talking in a group is how people move toward acceptance.
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More practices from this episode
- Letting the Wanting Rest
Like a watched kettle, desire (including the longing to reunite with someone who died) eases when you wish for it and then let the wanting rest for a while, rather than clutching at it.
- Talk to your younger self
When old anger flares, Mia addresses her teenage self directly ('Mia, I hear you, I get it') and asks who she is really trying to prove herself to.
- Clarify what you're curious about
Before investigating a loss or ghosting, get clear on what you really want: the truth, someone's perspective, or permission to move on, and ask whether you could go on never getting over it.
- Choose your goodbyes
Actively choose each goodbye ('this I'm choosing, and this too') instead of letting losses happen to you, so grief doesn't go unprocessed.
- Honor the dead by not fighting the living
When there's no will or the wishes are unclear, the best way to honor someone is not to fight with the people still living, and to ask what they would want for you.
- Be a clean mirror
When someone shares grief, reflect it cleanly by listening, observing and asking questions, rather than reacting with shock ('Oh my god, really?') or telling them how they should feel…