Decision-Making is one of the themes that runs through Nectar of Time. Below is everything in the Nectarium that touches on it.
Where it comes up 2
Within this theme 17
Concepts 4
- Decision Paralysis
Being frozen among many possible paths, as in Plath's fig tree, where every fig rots while you choose. Part of it is the opportunity cost of not choosing, and part is the fear of climbing a…
- Fear Disguised as Logic
Ian's claim that much of what men call analytical thinking ('I need to think it over', 'I need all the facts') is fear trying to control reality so it feels safe. Real logic is checking…
- Ladder Against the Wrong Wall
The fear of spending years climbing a ladder only to find it leaned against the wrong wall and having to start over. Ian says this fear keeps people paralyzed.
- Opportunity Cost
Tamir's reading of the fig tree: staying paralyzed has its own cost, because the options rot while you wait.
Books 1
- The Bell Jar
Plath's 1963 novel. Tamir reads its fig tree passage, where the narrator starves in the crotch of a fig tree because she can't choose a fig, as the episode's picture of decision paralysis…
People 2
- Ed Harding
A well-known Michigan artist who, after viewing her portfolio, accepted 21-year-old Sheela as an apprentice to teach her lithography and watercolor. She never started: she visited India…
- Sylvia Plath
American poet and novelist. Tamir reads her fig tree passage from The Bell Jar to frame the episode's question of how to step toward one of many unknowns without being paralyzed.
Quotes 3
I have never had a feeling of missing out. Now instead of doing painting, I'm improving my being.
That's not logical thinking. That's not being analytical. That's ping-ponging between fear and doubt.
For me, life is the choices we make. And there is always choice to accept and move forward, or choose something else and fall in a ditch. But both are good choices. When you fall in the ditch, you will have to figure out how you come out. There is also activity. There is also using brains.
Insights 6
- Action precedes certainty about the path
There is a delay between the actions you take and the reality that appears, so you can never know at first whether you're on the right path. Acting anyway is a trainable skill, and habitual…
- Even the ditch is a good choice
Sheela sees no bad choices: accepting and moving forward is good, and falling into a ditch is also good because climbing out takes action and brains. What changes the pleasure of a choice…
- Life has no chess engine
We want life to have a computable 'next best move' like chess. You can calculate in small, contained environments, but no one stands in God's four-dimensional view to say you should have…
- Loss is a story you tell about choices
Tamir notes that choosing one life path cuts off countless others. Sheela answers that life is the choices you make: if university felt like a waste, it was a waste for you. She chose love…
- Most 'analysis' is fear seeking control
'I need to think it over' and 'I need all the facts' often mean 'I'm trying to control reality so I feel safe'. Real logic is arithmetic or a budget, not an anxious loop of…
- Too many paths become an anxious straitjacket
Tamir argues that most people's lives aren't that hard but become hard because they face a constant 'smorgasbord of life paths', all equally good, which traps them in an anxious…
Stories 1
- Giving up an art apprenticeship for love
At 21, Sheela was accepted by the well-known Michigan artist Ed Harding to apprentice in lithography and watercolor. Before the semester began she flew to India to see her mother after an…