Born Sheela Ambalal Patel in Gujarat, India (1949); personal secretary to Osho and spokesperson of the Rajneeshpuram commune in Oregon in the early 1980s, widely seen as its commander-in-chief. She left the commune in 1985, was convicted of crimes including attempted murder and served time in US prison, and later ran care homes in Switzerland. On the podcast, at 76, she speaks about love, presence, integrity and freedom as her lifelong operating system.
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- Giving up an art apprenticeship for love
At 21, Sheela was accepted by the well-known Michigan artist Ed Harding to apprentice in lithography and watercolor. Before the semester began she flew to India to see her mother after an…
- Meeting Bhagwan through her father
Sheela wasn't looking for spirituality and 'didn't even know what it meant'. Her father asked her to come with him to Bhagwan's discourse because he believed that if this man lived long…
- Sheela doesn't meditate, leave her alone
Sheela was bored by the meditation exercises and found her work more fun than 'jumping up and down'. Commune members complained to Bhagwan that Sheela didn't meditate, and he told them to…
- Drop both lovers if they're jealous
Sheela told her lovers plainly that none of them could compare with Bhagwan, 'a category of its own', and they loved him too, so they understood. If her lovers grew jealous of one another…
- Gibran on papa's lap, stars in the garden
At five, Sheela sat on her father's lap while he read her Kahlil Gibran, which she didn't understand but felt as affection. In summer the family slept outside in the garden, and every night…
- How can we be against marriage unmarried?
Every evening Sheela and Chinmaya ate sitting back to back on the floor of her little room, talking and philosophizing, as long as it was logical. One night they agreed they couldn't be…
- Leaving Bhagwan with tears in her eyes
When Sheela decided to leave Bhagwan, members of her commune 'family' begged her to stay, reminding her of everything she had and all the work she had put in. Tears ran down her face as she…
- Arguing a dying man into love
Sheela's first husband, Chinmaya, had Hodgkin's disease and a year and a half to live, so he refused to get involved with her because it would be unfair to her. Both loved logic, so she…
- Falling asleep at morning discourses
Asked what besides her parents shaped her, Sheela says Bhagwan's teachings added a lot, though she went to his discourses every morning and often fell asleep on the floor. Tamir jokes she…
- Mother of six monsters, never serious
Sheela's mother raised six children ('all monsters, one is talking to you'), yet Sheela never saw her with a serious face. Sheela's eye doctor used to say that when her mother walked in…
- Married over a lost bet, and mid-flight
Of her two later marriages, Sheela says she married once because she lost a bet, and once because she fell in love again, with the wedding performed by the pilot on a flight to India.
- Museums drained her enthusiasm for art
As a fine art student Sheela painted, made pottery and sculpted, but it grew heavy on her. Museums felt so sterile that she lost her enthusiasm, and after a while she stopped, and then had…
Words spoken
When the moment is there to be in love, I didn't waste it with too much mental masturbation. I don't doubt, which saves me from negativity. And we are so prone to judge and define and cancel things out. Suddenly now being in love has a darker side.
So people say I love you, I love you. Better, more honest would be to say: hey, come, we roll together on this carpet. Cause it's different. It's not the same thing.
This falling in love is to shut down all other senses and just go for a free fall. And that free fall will teach you trust. Love and trust are part of one another.
I have never had a feeling of missing out. Now instead of doing painting, I'm improving my being.
People have so much problem with relationships because most of the relationships are based in need. Then this need becomes a bargain point. It becomes a business. And neither partner is happy with it, because you lose your freedom.
Pain can be bodily also. Pain can be fantasy. Pain can be imagination. For me, pain is nothing to brag about. You have it. You, with your own intelligence and understanding, you go through it.
If I have to indulge in what? Then maybe I go for a margarita or a glass of champagne.
The parents had only one desire of us, that we learn and learn in life. Don't give up learning. They taught us how to hanker for freedom.
My job was to protect him, protect his community and protect his teachings. And when he himself is going against, and I cannot protect him, it's time for me to go. Then somebody else has to take over my job.
Spirituality is a fashion in the moment. But one doesn't have to follow old fashion. You create your own fashion... And don't compare yourself to others. You are you, others are others, and both are individuals.
Become clear of one's own desire, and bear in mind: when you have expectations of others, you will be disappointed, cause they will never be fulfilled. And the moment you are disappointed, you will get depressed. So avoid this catch-22.
I don't need their approval. I don't give them the honor of approval. I'm a bit of arrogant woman. And it's their problem. They have a problem with me, they have to live with it, not me.
For me, life is the choices we make. And there is always choice to accept and move forward, or choose something else and fall in a ditch. But both are good choices. When you fall in the ditch, you will have to figure out how you come out. There is also activity. There is also using brains.
I am on the happy side. Because my love doesn't depend on anything, except my feelings.
I can sit and philosophize, if somebody will, that's not a problem. But I rather sit and enjoy the Sonnenuntergang outside my window.
Rock in the middle of the nowhere. You know, one of the meanings of the word Sheela is rock. The rock on which they write scriptures.
For me time becomes nectar only when you are in presence, present moment.
I was not with Bhagwan for my name and title and the luxuries being a secretary... I had my own integrity, and that integrity was not for sale.