Buying things (Funko Pops, figurines, Amazon packages) to fill an emptiness they can't touch.
Where it comes up 7
Within this theme 37
Concepts 9
- Distraction as Addiction
Tamir's idea that distraction works like a drug. The more you distract yourself, the harder you hit existential dread on the comedown, while distracting yourself less brings an inner…
- Massive desire with complete non-attachment
Ian's formula for reconciling the drive for greatness with detachment from results: keep the burning desire, but measure fulfillment by the daily practice rather than the outcome.
- Non-attachment
Ian's 'massive amounts of desire, complete non-attachment': wanting and working for big things while not depending on the outcome; Tamir ties it to the Gita and Kipling's 'If—'.
- Social Media as Shopping Cart of Symbols
Tamir's image of social media as a shopping cart young people fill with symbols and labels to build an identity. Logan agrees.
- Expectations
Sheela's chain: expectations of others lead to disappointment, disappointment leads to depression, a 'catch-22' you avoid by being clear about your own desire and taking whatever comes as…
- Hedonic goal-chasing
The 'I'll be happy when...' trap Tamir names at the outset: if happiness waits on the next goal you'll be miserable your whole life; Ian sees men arrive at 40-50 feeling empty this way.
- Power, money, fame
Colin's three things society tells kids to aim for, instead of being a great teacher, police officer or firefighter, or simply a great human being with friends you actually spend time with.
- Visualization
Picturing a desired future, used in manifesting and by athletes before they compete. Tamir describes it as a healthy kind of living in the future, illustrated by his own image of a house by…
- Bella figura
Colin's Italian expression ('bellagura'), which he describes as a happy, good life built around family, friends and food. It shows that modest ambitions, like a great family or a great…
Books 6
- If—
Poem Tamir quotes ('meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same'); Ian's wife has an 'If' tattoo and knows the whole poem by heart.
- Bhagavad Gita
Hindu scripture Tamir calls entirely dedicated to treating triumph and disaster alike; he highlights its reconciliation of conflicting desires and Krishna's teaching that you have a right…
- Think and Grow Rich
Tamir notes that this popular business book has a chapter on dreaming in which Hill describes dreams and imagined meetings with mentors such as Thomas Edison and a U.S. president, and…
- Makers of Empire
Prose-poem about dreamers as 'the architects of greatness' whose visions outlast crumbling empires; Tamir reads it aloud and it frames the episode's question of reconciling greatness with…
- The Master Key System
1912 New Thought / self-help course; Tamir has had its 'Makers of Empire' excerpt on his wall for over a decade, from his bare startup studio to his current office, and reads it to open the…
- Dhammapada
Buddhist scripture Tamir cites (paraphrasing its opening) as saying you suffer because you desire; Ian counters that resistance, not desire, creates suffering.
People 1
- Napoleon Hill
Author of Think and Grow Rich, cited for writing about dreaming of his mentors.
Quotes 5
If you keep saying I'm going to be happy when I hit this goal, you're going to be miserable your whole life.
Massive amounts of desire, complete non-attachment. I think that's the only way.
Walls crumble and empires fall... the rotting nations drop off from time's bough, and only the things the dreamers make live on.
I've been ordering a bunch of stuff from Amazon and I get super excited when the packages show up, but lately I feel weird like two minutes after opening them. Like, sad, I guess.
Become clear of one's own desire, and bear in mind: when you have expectations of others, you will be disappointed, cause they will never be fulfilled. And the moment you are disappointed, you will get depressed. So avoid this catch-22.
Insights 9
- Resistance, not desire, creates suffering
Ian disagrees that desire causes suffering: you can hold massive desire as long as you're not dependent on reaching it; the suffering comes from resisting what is.
- Act for joy, not for blessings
Where Tamir sees purpose-driven flow, Sheela describes something simpler: she does what comes her way without deliberating yes or no, helps others because it gives her pleasure, and seeks…
- Distraction's crash is existential dread
Like any addiction, the dread on the comedown is as deep as the distraction was high. Distracting yourself less brings a more unified sense of who you are and your place in the world.
- Modest ambitions are still ambitions
Ambition doesn't have to mean becoming a billionaire. Wanting a great family, a good meal on the weekend, or to build homes people will live in for ever is just as real a goal.
- The Gita reconciles conflicting desires
The Bhagavad Gita is special because it reconciles the desire to win with the desire not to harm, through acting fully while being detached from the fruits of action.
- Make your goal the idea, not the money
Try with all your might not to make your goal monetary. Gates aimed to be the number one software guy with the best idea, and being authentic about the idea is what made him a billionaire.
- Our drives come from childhood compensations
Many life paths, like needing the Ferrari and then needing it wrapped in neon, are driven by childhood motivations and a search for compensation and validation, and they all rest on how we…
- The itch Amazon can't scratch
Even a purely functional purchase leaves us faintly disappointed, because without admitting it we want it to be more than it is. The itch has a completely different cause, and the letdown…
- Expectations of others breed depression
Expecting things from others guarantees disappointment, because those expectations are never fulfilled, and disappointment slides into depression. Sheela's way out is to get clear on your…
Practices 2
- Keep visuals of your why on the wall
During the grind of his early startup, Tamir put up visuals such as 'Makers of Empire' to remind himself why he was doing what he was doing.
- Get clear on your desire, drop expectations
Sheela's answer when asked for a practice to become more like her: get clear about your own desire, stop expecting things from others, and take whatever comes your way as it is and go…
Stories 3
- Satisfied Customer excerpt from Troll
Tamir reads an undated page-15 excerpt from Troll by a user called 'Satisfied Customer'. It is a stream of a young person's online mind: irony pulled over the eyes, Mario speedruns, vanilla…
- Dreaming of a house by the water
Tamir describes his own picture of the future: a house by the water within walking distance of the beach, opening the curtains each morning to sunlight on his face. He uses it to show that…
- Tamir's bare startup studio
In his startup's early days Tamir lived in a bachelor studio with no bathroom (shared with three units), no full kitchen, no art or family photos, just IKEA desks and a mattress on the…
Films, music and art 1
- Back to the Future
In the Troll excerpt, the narrator buys a Marty McFly figurine without ever having seen the film. Master Chief and Spider-Man figures are bought in the same breath.
Organizations and movements 1
- Amazon
The setting of the Troll excerpt's most relatable line, the sadness two minutes after a package arrives. Tamir and Logan treat it as the face of consumption used to fill an inner hole.