Non-Attachment | Nectarium · Nectar of Time

Non-Attachment is one of the themes that runs through Nectar of Time. Below is everything in the Nectarium that touches on it.

Where it comes up 8

Pinball as a metaphor for lifeEp 3
From Murakami's Pinball, 1973: every game ends in a loss and the machine just says replay; the point is not the score but self-transformation through the wins and losses, so build your own…
Karma yogaEp 3
The Gita teaching Tamir cites: your dharma is your work; you have the right to your work but not to its fruits.
Massive desire with complete non-attachmentEp 3
Ian's formula for reconciling the drive for greatness with detachment from results: keep the burning desire, but measure fulfillment by the daily practice rather than the outcome.
Non-attachmentEp 3
Ian's 'massive amounts of desire, complete non-attachment': wanting and working for big things while not depending on the outcome; Tamir ties it to the Gita and Kipling's 'If—'.
Pain plus resistance equals sufferingEp 3
Ian's formula: suffering comes not from pain or desire itself but from resisting what is; he uses it to disagree with the idea that desire causes suffering.
MayaEp 3
Hindu concept of illusion; Tamir uses it to say that even achieving the goal (the Bugatti, the house) is still illusion if triumph and disaster are impostors.

If—by Rudyard Kipling · Ep 1
Poem Tamir quotes ('meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same'); Ian's wife has an 'If' tattoo and knows the whole poem by heart.
Bhagavad Gitaby Vyasa (traditionally attributed) · Ep 1
Hindu scripture Tamir calls entirely dedicated to treating triumph and disaster alike; he highlights its reconciliation of conflicting desires and Krishna's teaching that you have a right…
Pinball, 1973by Haruki Murakami · Ep 2
Murakami's second kitchen-table novella; Tamir misremembers the year in the title as 1984 or 1983.

SenecaStoic philosopher · Ep 3
Cited as a Stoic whose life was riddled with tragedy (killed by Nero, family deaths) and who wrote consolation letters, including one to his mother from exile.
Marcus AureliusRoman emperor and Stoic philosopher · Ep 1
Author of Meditations, cited as one of the dead you speak with when you read.
Rudyard Kiplingpoet, novelist · Ep 1
Author of the poem 'If—', which Tamir quotes on treating triumph and disaster as impostors.
Krishnadeity, teacher in the Bhagavad Gita · Ep 3
In the Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna to act while remaining detached from outcomes; Tamir cites this as the reconciliation of desire and non-attachment.

Resistance, not desire, creates sufferingIan Coll · Ep 3 · 1:11:14
Ian disagrees that desire causes suffering: you can hold massive desire as long as you're not dependent on reaching it; the suffering comes from resisting what is.
Equanimity can't answer an enigmaTamir Barzilai · Ep 1 · 15:20
Stoicism, Kipling and the Gita teach you to meet joy and sorrow evenly, but an enigma is neither: it's a 'why', and it pushes you onto more treacherous philosophical paths.
Personal growth happens in the moment, not on the cushionIan Coll · Ep 3 · 56:48
Real growth isn't the 30 minutes of morning reading or meditation; it's catching a thought or feeling of resistance as it arises in the kitchen and choosing to let go.
Pinball is played for transformation, not scoreTamir Barzilai · Ep 3 · 1:07:57
You can't anticipate wins or losses, but you can anticipate your practice; the purpose of playing is to be transformed by the highs and the drops, then hit replay.
The Gita reconciles conflicting desiresTamir Barzilai · Ep 3 · 1:12:48
The Bhagavad Gita is special because it reconciles the desire to win with the desire not to harm, through acting fully while being detached from the fruits of action.
Triumph is as much an illusion as disasterTamir Barzilai · Ep 3 · 52:48
If Kipling's triumph and disaster are both impostors, then even getting the Bugatti, the house, or the job is still maya; real stability has to come from the daily practice, not the result.

Moment-by-moment yogaIan Coll · Ep 3 · 56:48
Treat everyday frustration as the mat: when resistance arises, close your eyes and say aloud 'I'm in resistance, I'm wanting things to be different than they are, I'm being impatient', then…
Build your own pinball practiceTamir Barzilai · Ep 3 · 1:08:44
Since you can't anticipate wins or losses, design your own daily practice, unique to you, as an operating system for self-transformation.
Orient your life around servingIan Coll · Ep 3 · 1:26:31
Get clear on the few things you truly care about and commit to the process of serving them (e.g. giving your partner utmost presence regardless of how they respond), rather than to an…
Practice gratitude and letting goIan Coll · Ep 3 · 57:35
Gratitude and letting go feel dumb or empty at first; practiced repeatedly they become tools available to you.

Resistance while cooking dinnerIan Coll · Ep 3 · 56:48
The day before, frustrated in his kitchen that his content wasn't reaching enough people, Ian recognized it as his 'mat': he closed his eyes and said aloud that he was in resistance and…