Growth is one of the themes that runs through Nectar of Time. Below is everything in the Nectarium that touches on it.
Where it comes up 7
Within this theme 40
Concepts 5
- Brain as Operating System
Tamir's main framework: the brain is an input/output computer and an 'interpretation machine' that runs every stimulus through filters built up over a lifetime. Like any OS it picks up bugs…
- Compound Curiosity
Tamir's main prescription: curiosity is the 'compound interest' of the mind. The right kind isn't scattered novelty-seeking. It's relentless, uncomfortable curiosity about where you're…
- Self-help as veneer
Tamir argues that people obsessed with self-awareness books, courses and seminars can be more inauthentic than everyone else, because each one adds another veneer and another layer of…
- Personal development hamster wheel
Ian's term for getting stuck consuming self-help, which presumes you're broken and widens the chasm between where you are and where you want to be.
- Original sin framing of self-help
Ian and Tamir observe that self-help often starts from 'I'm broken, therefore I need X', which Tamir likens to Christian original sin; Ian prescribes self-compassion instead.
Books 2
- Think and Grow Rich
Tamir notes that this popular business book has a chapter on dreaming in which Hill describes dreams and imagined meetings with mentors such as Thomas Edison and a U.S. president, and…
- The Master Key System
1912 New Thought / self-help course; Tamir has had its 'Makers of Empire' excerpt on his wall for over a decade, from his bare startup studio to his current office, and reads it to open the…
People 6
- Napoleon Hill
Author of Think and Grow Rich, cited for writing about dreaming of his mentors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Named by Tamir as a precursor to the self-help writers of the early 20th century.
- Dan Peña
Controversial Mexican-American businessman whose style of motivation is telling people how full of crap they are. Tamir quotes his line that self-help is the biggest scam of all time…
- Tony Robbins
The main book in Colin's five-self-help-books experiment. One of his salespeople said Robbins had changed his life while still performing badly at sales.
- Charles F. Haanel
Early-20th-century author of The Master Key System, whom Tamir credits as one of the founders of modern self-help and an influence on Napoleon Hill. The 'Makers of Empire' excerpt on…
- James Allen
English philosopher (As a Man Thinketh) named by Tamir among the forerunners of the modern self-help genre.
Quotes 11
For a while I would be obsessed with self-help books and this and that. And I realized the more self-help books I read, the less of a personality I had.
Apple pushes a new operating system every year. When was the last time I pushed out a new operating system for myself?
It's like a snake eating its own tail. It's very difficult for the computer with a bug to unbug itself, to fix itself. There has to be new code that's pushed to fix the bug.
If you get addicted to self-help you're going to look at the mirror every day and realize you're not good enough.
All they end up doing is adding one veneer to the next veneer, adding one layer of masquerading to the next layer of masquerading.
You can't be in 2026 running Windows 95. It's not going to work. It's going to be too slow. You're going to get bad results.
Curiosity. That's how you get compounding interest for your brain, and how to fix your operating system is curiosity.
Basically, it was the same answer in every single book. And it was pretty simple. Have a good attitude. Don't give up. Work hard. You'll be successful.
A lot of times as humans we get to a point where we must shed a skin or we will continue to suffer.
You don't need more podcasts, you don't need more books, you don't need more strategy. What you need is compassion for yourself.
There is no perfect model, but there are improved models, and then there are models that do not get improved.
Insights 9
- Self-help can widen the gap it means to close
Even a book telling you it's okay not to be enough creates a new struggle to feel okay; self-help is a tool, but stuck in it you keep measuring the chasm between where you are and where you…
- Self-help has no performance indicator
Self-help tells you you're getting better while giving you nothing measurable to track. Believing you're improving is not the same as improving, and resolve in the real world, such as sales…
- Self-improvement hierarchies breed sophisticated fakes
The higher you climb any belief system's checklist hierarchy, the more you need to keep up appearances, so those at the top are often the most out of touch with who they are. It works like…
- A bugged mind needs outside code
A mind can't fully debug itself from inside its own faulty logic. It needs new input, new ideas or a new environment, the way software needs a patch pushed to it.
- A faulty OS is only scary by choice
Admitting you've been running faulty mental software is only frightening if you frame it that way. You can treat it as routine maintenance, like a yearly OS release.
- Reading about action is not action
Reading a book can feel like the equivalent of acting on chapter one's advice; things are often as simple as doing the thing, which is why we overcomplicate them.
- The rest of the world never heard of your guru
People caught inside a self-help group forget that the whole world outside is succeeding without ever hearing of their technique, book or leader, using the simple things a parent, boss or…
- A dying plant may need new soil
A plant dying in one bed can flourish when moved to another. Sometimes the fault isn't in us but in our surroundings and influences, so we should pay close attention to our environment.
- Imperfection is the human condition
If you're looking for growth, it isn't because you're broken but because being human means nothing is ever perfect, so there's always more to interpret and the model can always improve.
Practices 2
- Change your environment to flourish
Like moving a dying plant into new soil, change your surroundings and influences when they keep you from growing.
- Push a yearly personal OS update
Treat the new year like Apple's annual release: make a point of reviewing and upgrading your interpretations, beliefs and filters instead of running old software.
Stories 3
- The salesman who didn't want to be manager
In one of Colin's offices in Belgium, during a struggling telecoms campaign, one salesman was the only one hitting numbers. Colin pulled him aside and praised him lavishly as his next…
- Five self-help books experiment
A salesman who was doing badly kept telling Colin that Tony Robbins had changed his life. So Colin bought five random self-help books, Robbins's among them, and had his staff read and swap…
- The fake rocket scientist
At a motivational event the speaker claimed he had once been a rocket scientist, and the crowd was in awe. Colin looked him up and found he was 'so full of crap'. His lesson: the people…
Films, music and art 1
- Windows 95
Tamir's central metaphor for an outdated mind: 'You can't be in 2026 running Windows 95.' Old mental software is slow and gives bad results.
Organizations and movements 1
- Indigo
Canadian bookstore chain; Tamir uses its self-help section as shorthand for the genre and its limits compared with literature.